Trainwreck

This is an appropriate title for the Wild One lately. Was down with the Swine flu for a month, and it wasn't pretty. I was crawling on all fours, sniffing garbage, squeeling, and rolling around in mud. Actually, on a more serious note, it was a horrible experience, and though I'm still glad I didn't get vaccinated, this flu put the fear of God into me. It was my own little trainwreck, and I'm glad it's over.

This trainwreck lasted a month. It seemed like forever, but now I'm recovered. I know that we all have little trainwrecks here and there in life, and that's what makes things interesting, right? And that's what Christmas is for. With relatives.

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Considering how difficult some of my own trainwrecks have been, I shouldn't gawk and snicker at the wreckages of others. But I can't help it. And the fact that I can't help myself means that I'm feeling healthy again. In the words of our favorite homemaker, "That's a Good Thing". Because if I'm not eating or evil-snickering, something has gone terribly wrong. All my friends know this.

I've been surfing the Lainey Gossip website over lunch hours lately because the weather here has hit record lows, competitive only with Siberian winters. Thankfully I have headphones, because this has entitled me to witness some of the best trainwrecks I've seen in a while. Enjoy. You really can't afford to miss these, so buckle yourself into your seat with a good cup of java and watch these clips. And be glad that your own trainwrecks never looked like this. Or at the very least, that no one was filming you while you had them.

Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman



Billy Bob Thornton meltdown